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Running For Ben
Running has been a part of my life for many years now. It's my way of getting away from the world but also my way of seeing it from a different perspective. When I learned we were expecting our first child, I imagined him following in my footsteps, of course starting out in a jogging stroller and then progressing to his first 5K. Because running plays such an important role in my life, it is only fitting that I chose it as a way of honoring his short life with us. In turn, he has shown me what is truly important in life, and yes, running is still one of those things.
Our son, Benjamin Charles Reynolds, was born silently on December 10, 2003. Our hopes and dreams for him were many, some far off in the future and some just around the corner. One of those dreams was that he would be there with us as I ran my first Boston Marathon. He had already attended (in utero) the Sunburst Marathon in South Bend, IN earlier that year. It was a wonderful day and with Lesli and Benjamin cheering me on, I was able to qualify for the 2004 Boston Marathon. We were on our way! Our hopes and dreams changed forever after that tragic day in December. We searched for answers and for ways to just get through the day. For me, running provided that way. It allowed me the chance to be close to Benjamin, to talk to him and let him know how much I missed him. I shared with him my dream of running Boston, and I realized then that he would be there with me, cheering me on, only this time it would be as my angel. I set out to run the Boston Marathon in memory of Benjamin and to raise money for Share. I always used to run alone, however now, with Benjamin looking down on me, my running took on a different feel. The training went well for the most part and as the big day grew closer so did the realization of the task at hand. The Boston Marathon is the grand daddy for many reasons; it's the oldest, toughest and most sought after. I wanted to make my little angel proud, to not let him or his memory down. This would prove harder than I had ever imagined. You can tell yourself you're strong and that you can overcome anything, but the emotions of honoring a loved one can be tougher than a hundred Boston Marathons. Thank God, Benjamin's spirit was with me that day, for without it, I would not have made it.
Race day turned out to be the eighth hottest on record. I started out with high hopes, a tear in my eye and a shirt on my back that read, "In Memory of Benjamin Charles Reynolds." The race went well for the first 16 miles. I was right on pace to meet my goal. However, the heat and the emotions got the best of me. I was disappointed in myself for not being strong enough, for not being able to make the goal I had set for myself; the goal I had set to honor Benjamin. Little did I know though, I had reached my goal. See, that goal was for my son to see me run the Boston Marathon and he did. Benjamin was with me the whole 26.2 miles, every step of the way, pushing me along. He is my angel, and I thank God he can be with me on all my runs, listening to my hopes, my fears, and my dreams.
Through the faith and generous donations of family and friends, we were able to provide a charitable contribution to Share, a wonderful national and local organization that has helped us and many other grieving parents through some very tough times. Words cannot express my gratitude for those who believed in me and felt honored to remember Benjamin in this way. I also would like to give a special "thank you" to my wife, Lesli, for without her support and love, I could not have made it through. (YAMS!)
Godspeed, Little Man!
